Written in stone: the quiet memorial growing on Bondi Beach

What began as a simple, instinctive act of mourning has grown into one of the most resonant and unifying forms of remembrance following the Bondi Beach massacre.

Anita Birges, a Bondi local and member of the Jewish community, is best known as a professional home organiser. Through her business, Mise en Place, she helps people bring order to their homes and lives. In the days after the attack, however, Birges became a familiar presence at the memorial site, quietly helping mourners find a lasting way to express their grief.

Like many Australians, Birges first visited the site carrying flowers.

“That is what everyone did at the start,” she said. “It is an Australian thing to do. You bring flowers to show you are together,” she told JWire.

But as the flowers were removed, she felt a sense of unease, as there was no longer an obvious, visible reminder of the horrific events of December 14. Drawing on Jewish custom, she placed a small stone at the site, just as she does when visiting her grandparents’ graves or other memorials.

“In Jewish tradition, we leave a stone,” she said. “Flowers wither and die. A stone is strong. It stays. It does not disappear.”

At first, the gesture was personal. She brought one stone for herself and then one for her husband, writing a message on each. Soon, others joined in.

A friend’s mother began bringing extra stones for people to use. Birges did the same, adding handfuls of permanent markers and lending them to strangers who wanted to leave something behind.

What surprised her most was how quickly the idea took hold.

Many people, including non-Jewish visitors to the site, wanted to mark their presence and their sorrow. But once the flowers were gone, they did not know how.

Birges began explaining the meaning of the stones to visitors at the site and on social media, with the help of Rabbi Yossi Freedman. She also posted a written explanation at the memorial so visitors could understand why stones were being left and why people were writing on them.

The response was immediate.

Some wrote the names of the victims on their stones. Others wrote “shalom”, short prayers, or simple thoughts about the world they wished to see again. Some drew symbols.

The choice of permanent marker was deliberate.

“It cannot be removed,” Birges said. “Usually, what you write at a memorial disappears. This stays.”

“This gave people a way to be part of it,” she added. “To place their prayer somewhere.”

Neighbours and friends began pitching in with markers and stones. Each evening, Birges replenished the supply. By the next day, it was gone again.

Within days, the practice spread beyond what Birges could supply alone. She visited the Bunnings store in Rose Bay and found the last remaining bag of pebbles on the shelf. When she went to pay, a staff member stepped out from behind the counter and insisted on paying for them herself.

“She hugged me and said, ‘I’m paying for this,’” Birges recalled.

A permanent memorial is planned for the area. When the time comes, the stones will not be discarded but kept together as a visible and lasting tribute. An art installation is planned for the Sydney Jewish Museum, incorporating the thousands of flowers, stuffed toys and stones left by visitors to Bondi Beach since the tragedy.

For Birges, the symbolism runs deeper than remembrance alone.

“The stone reminds me that I am stronger than I think I am,” she said. “That we are stronger than we think. As Jewish people, we get knocked, but like stones, we endure.”

What began with a single pebble has become a shared language of grief and solidarity, taken up quietly by Jews and non-Jews alike, one stone at a time.

And without realising it, Anita Birges has found another small way to help people make sense of the chaos around them.